Fissure
by liron-aria
Summary: Even the strongest rocks can be brought down by an unnoticed fissure. Despite what everyone in the Aquabase thinks, Carter Grayson is not invincible.


A/N: ... Wow I have not written in this fandom in a long time.

Anyway, this is a (long-overdue) present for PinkRangerV.

Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers. Saban does.

Please, read and enjoy!

* * *

It's near midnight when Ryan finally gets out of the security briefing. It's been a long day, with Olympius' rise, him infiltrating the Aquabase, and a thorough review of Lightspeed's security protocols. The demons had come too close, even with the water all around them to protect them. If Carter hadn't wrestled Olympius into the pool in time, he doesn't want to think about what could have happened.

Speaking of the hero of the day, he's surprised to see Carter sitting in a conference room, poring over several files.

"Carter? Everything alright?"

Carter looks up sharply, his expression haggard for an instant before smoothing out into something more pleasant. "Ryan! How was the briefing?"

Ryan shrugs, leaning against the table. "It was long. Kind of boring. I'm ready to get some sleep - what about you?"

Carter's briefing had been first, and Ryan's surprised the other Ranger is still up. The day has been even rougher for him, leading the search for the missing Rangers, until Olympius-as-Chad and Olympius-as-Kelsey had assuaged their worries. Given how angry - verging on distraught - Carter had been when confronting Olympius-as-Joel, Ryan's surprised to see him here, alone with paperwork, instead of spending time with the rest of the team, or resting himself.

Carter glances down at the files before looking back up at Ryan. "Just going over things one last time, seeing if there was anything we missed, if there was any way I could have -"

The guilt in Carter's eyes is startling, and Ryan automatically reaches out a hand to clasp his shoulder. "Hey, Olympius tricked us all, Carter. Even Dad and I couldn't tell that it wasn't Dana. Don't beat yourself up about it. Everyone knows how hard you worked to get the team back."

Carter nods and averts his gaze, his eyes shadowed. After a moment, he straightens and smiles slightly at Ryan. "You should go ahead and get some sleep. I'm almost done here, anyway."

Ryan thinks Carter's lying, but he doesn't push. He knows his leader can be intensely private about his problems, and likely needs time to process everything that's happened. "Sure thing, man. I'll see you in the morning."

Carter raises his hand in farewell and waits until Ryan's left the room to run his hand through his hair. He leans back with a sigh. "God, it was just a _joke_, Grayson. Let it _go._"

He doesn't realize the Titanium Ranger is still outside, hearing every word. Ryan narrows his eyes thoughtfully and strides back to his quarters.

* * *

That night, Carter dreams.

He's in the dark, but he can clearly see Dana, Chad, Joel, and Kelsey glaring at him, arms crossed and expressions scornful.

"What's up with you letting Olympius right into the Aquabase?!"

"I can't believe that you would do something so dumb!"

"Wait a minute! That's not - that's not how it was," he protests, stumbling back. "I mean, he tricked us all -"

"You're our leader! How could you let this happen?"

The lights flare on, and Carter sees the Aquabase in ruins around him. Joel holds Ms. Fairweather's corpse in his arms.

"No…"

Carter shakes his head in denial. "No, this isn't real, this isn't how it happened!"

"I told you to wait," Dana's broken voice accuses, and Carter looks back at her to see her bruised and bleeding, clothes torn and burnt. "If you had waited, maybe this wouldn't have happened!"

"_Dana-"_

"He had us for _hours_," Chad snarls, his arm hanging limply at his size, blood dripping down his shirt, "He _tortured_ us-"

"No! No, that's not what happened! You were just trapped in his amulet-"

"Where _you_ left us!"

Carter shakes his head, backing away. "No, no, this isn't what happened…"

The accusations don't stop.

* * *

Ryan watches Carter.

Admittedly, Ryan watches _all_ the Rangers. It's a habit deeply engrained in him, from growing up in the Underworld. He always had to watch the beings around him, ready for an attack at any time, learning their weaknesses to exploit and prove his worth. Lightspeed is so different, so… peaceful and _nurturing_ compared to how he grew up; he doesn't understand a lot of what he sees, but he tries to catalogue it anyway.

Not that it helped much when Olympius was around.

His current focus is Carter, though, because there is something _off_ about his leader, something he can't quite place. It's not like Carter's personality has changed, or that he's acting noticeably erratic. Carter is still his same, selfless, sincere, driven self. He trains with Ryan in the mornings, with the team in the afternoons, and still works faithfully with Ms. Fairweather and the rest of Lightspeed.

But there's an undercurrent of _something_ beneath it all that sets off warning bells in Ryan's mind.

The first clue is thanks to Kelsey.

"Carter, do you do anything _besides_ train?" She asks with a laugh one afternoon.

"Of course I do!" Carter protests, and the other Rangers laugh, Joel diverting the conversation with another joke.

Ryan realizes that Carter never fully answers Kelsey's question, though, the next time they train, and Carter pins him to the ground in a sparring match.

"Oof! Nice shot, Carter! That makes it, what, 6 - 5 your favor?"

Carter smiles and reaches out a hand to help him sit up. "For this week, yeah. That was some nice footwork, there, you'll have to teach it to me sometime."

Ryan chuckles ruefully. "I think you're doing fine as is, Carter. I've gotta ask, how do you have so much stamina? I mean, you train harder than any of us - what makes you so… driven?"

Carter sits back with a soft exhale. "There's a lot of ways I could answer that, but I guess… you guys do."

Ryan tilts his head curiously. The Red Ranger looks at him earnestly, and explains, "You, Dana, Chad, Kelsey, Joel… even Captain Mitchell, Ms. Fairweather… You guys are my team. You all count on me out there, on the battlefield, so how I can give you anything less than my best?"

Ryan blinks, taken aback. That's the thing about Carter, he's always so sincere, so devoted. There's not a selfish bone in his body; he's not out to prove himself better than anyone else like the demons he grew up with.

"Carter…"

The other man freezes, an edge of panic in his gaze, and Ryan wonders why he looks like he's about to face a killing blow. He smiles in what he hopes is a disarming manner, replying, "That's amazing. An honor. Thank you, Carter."

Carter quirks a grin at him, and Ryan springs to his feet. "Now come on, one more round. Let's see if I can't make that 6-5 into a tie!"

* * *

_" - Your fault!"_

Carter jerks awake, his breathing harsh. His room is dark around him, the reading on his bedside clock a piercing red.

_3:25 AM_

Carter groans, falling back against his pillows. That had to be a _mistake_, he'd only gotten to sleep two and a half hours ago!

"Gah! What is _wrong with you_, Grayson?" he mutters furiously, "It was just a joke, you _know_ it was just a joke, let it _go_ already…"

He knows his teammates don't blame him for not realizing Olympus was an impostor immediately. He knows they weren't hurt. He knows, he knows, he knows… So why is he still having nightmares?

Why is he still being eaten by the _guilt_ of being a bad leader?

If he had waited to fight like Dana wanted, that would just have given the demons an edge.

He did everything he could, ran every scan, oversaw every search. He was first on the field to retrieve what he believed was his teammate, the first to suspect that something might have been wrong with the people they got back. What more could he have done?

Should he have stayed with Olympius-as-Chad? It wasn't like he could have been the man's shadow, with so many other operations running at the same time, and the searches he was still supposed to be running… But maybe he should have known. Should have been able to tell that it was an impostor and not his teammate.

He'd been so happy to get his friend back, though. And neither Captain Mitchell or Ryan or Ms. Fairweather had noticed anything out of the ordinary, and they worked with the team almost as much as he did.

Carter exhales sharply and sits up. The team can't afford for him to be so distracted. The past is in the past, all he can do is learn from it and move on. He needs to be better in the future. A better leader, a better friend, a better teammate - so that nothing like this ever happens again.

He slips out of bed and reaches for a clean shirt.

He _will_ be better.

* * *

Ryan is officially worried about Carter.

Or maybe himself.

His conversation with Carter suddenly colors _everything._ Carter isn't just _training_ for the team, it comes out in the little things, too. He grabs their dirty trays and trash during meals. He holds the doors open and lets the others pass first. He steadies them before they can trip.

It's not out of the ordinary behavior for Carter, not really, he's always polite and helpful, but it's far more… _more_ than it's ever been before. It's like Carter's _always_ on watch, always ready to step in should his friends even come close to needing him. Ryan knows Kelsey has run into Lightspeed scientists before, and that everybody used to throw away their own things. But nowadays, it seems like Carter's always there, ready to take of them.

And Carter looks exhausted.

That much he knows he's not overthinking or imagining; there are more bags under Carter's eyes than there were when they first met. And maybe just because he's more watchful, he sees more moments like the night after the security briefing, where Carter looks haggard before someone catches his attention and his expression smooths out into focus and alertness, ready to help.

He knows Carter is private.

He knows Carter doesn't like talking about his problems. Hell, half the people in Lightspeed think Carter is invincible, because nothing seems to bring him down, nothing deters him.

But Carter is human. Carter is a daredevil. Carter doesn't defend himself as well as he could, and takes hits when he doesn't need to. Ryan remembers studying the Rangers before stealing the Titanium morpher, and he knows the Red Ranger's biggest weakness is his team.

And as he watches Carter block a monster's strike for Dana, Ryan wonders if anyone else will notice before Carter gets himself hurt.

* * *

_Olympius shoved Carter off the roof._

Six words. Six words to describe one of the greatest calamities to strike Operation Lightspeed. Six words that don't do it justice.

Bill Mitchell rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to process the explanation in the after-action report on his desk, and prays they'll recover from this before the next crisis.

Outside, Chad stares down at his own report, trying to figure out what else to write, because those six words don't say how furiously Olympius attacked Carter. They don't say that the Rangers had let their guard down - but not Carter, never Carter - after the battle against the monster du jour was won. That all of them except for Carter were unprepared for Olympius to burst out of the late afternoon shadows and attack.

Except for Carter, who responded immediately, matching Olympius stroke for stroke.

"It all happened so fast," Joel murmurs blankly, watching as Ms. Fairweather checks the monitors attached to Carter. "One minute, we're celebrating another job well done, and the next Carter's fighting Olympius, and the next -"

And the next, Olympius slashed the Red Ranger across the chest, knocking him off the edge of the roof.

Joel thanks the God he barely believes in that Carter had been morphed when he fell.

"Carter's going to be fine," Ms. Fairweather assures him, but the lines on her face belie her words. "He has a concussion and cracked ribs, but nothing he can't recover from."

"Right," Kelsey says, her voice high and verging on shrill, "Because Carter's invincible, right? It's Carter. He can make it through anything."

Carter has walked through laser fire and come out unscathed before. Carter is at the forefront of all their battles. Carter tackled Olympius by himself. Carter blew up Demonite at close enough range to blow _himself_ up, and still came out strong enough to fight in the megazords.

Carter will be fine. That's what Carter _does._

Several hallways down from the infirmary, Ryan doesn't share Kelsey's faith. He snarls as he drives his fists into a punching bag hanging form the ceiling. The training center is empty save for him; no one ever wants to be near him when he's in one of his near-demonic moods. No one, save Dana, his father, and Carter.

Dana and his father, because they love him. Carter, because he's a stupid, reckless, _idiot_ with _no sense of self-preservation_ -

Ryan sighs explosively and catches the bag as it swings back towards him, resting his forehead against it. That's not what he thinks about his leader, not at all. Carter isn't stupid, he's clever. He isn't reckless, he's dauntless. And while his self-preservation instinct is still up for debate, it's only because Carter is a protector.

That's what Carter does, he protects. That's why he leaped to attack Olympius before he could touch the Rangers. Ryan still feels the rage singing in his veins, swift and sharp, and remembers how he tore into the demon prince, snarling and cursing in their common language, landing strikes faster than Olympius could match. He would have killed him - if his teammates hadn't called him away. If Carter had been dead, he would have killed the bastard on that rooftop.

Ryan's fists tighten and he starts pummeling the bag again.

And Dana?

Dana watches Carter's still form, monitoring his vitals and waiting for him to wake up. Dana wonders why the only thing her leader and friend said as he fell was "I'm sorry."

* * *

Carter wakes up apologizing.

He's completely disoriented, barely knows where he is or how he got there, but he _knows_ he failed, that he didn't stop Olympius from getting into the Aquabase -

"Carter, calm down," Ms. Fairweather soothes, glancing worriedly at the racing spikes on his heart monitor.

How could she be here - Joel held her - he _saw_ -

Dana grabs her Red Ranger's hand, squeezing gently. "Carter. It's okay, you're safe."

Carter stares at her, eyes wide. "D-Dana - you're - Dana - Olympius -"

Carter's returning grip on her hand is stronger than she expects, almost bruising in its intensity. She rubs her thumb across the backs of his fingers soothingly and replies, "Ryan took care of Olympius after you fell. He can't touch you here, Carter."

The other Rangers burst into the room and Carter jerks towards them sharply.

"Carter! You're awake!" Kelsey greets brightly, a grin stretching across her face.

Carter _flinches_, looking very much like he's expecting them to attack him and the smile falls from Kelsey's face.

"I'm sorry!" Carter blurts out, eyes sad and desperate, "I should have - I didn't mean to -"

The smile drops from Kelsey's face.

"Carter," Chad says slowly, "What are you apologizing for?"

"Olympius - I'm sorry, I won't let him touch you again - I'll do better next time -"

Ms. Fairweather frowns sharply as Carter's heart rate shoots up and places a hand on his shoulder. "Carter, it's okay, just calm down."

Carter shudders away from her touch, sitting up closer to the Rangers, pleading, "I'm sorry -"

"Carter, man, relax, you haven't done anything wrong," Joel tries to say, as his teammates exchange worried glances, but Carter doesn't hear him, his words rushing from him in a torrent.

"- I know it was dumb, you were right - I learned my lesson -"

"Carter!" Ms. Fairweather cries out as the machines around start shrieking. He's managed to pull off some electrodes in his agitation, and looks ready to bolt out of bed. "Ryan, keep him-"

"No, I have to go back to training!" Carter protests wildly, arms and legs lashing out as Ryan blocks his path and pushes him back to lie on the bed. "I have to -"

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Ms. Fairweather says briskly to the Rangers, all business. "Dr. Wells, I need 10 ccs diazepam -"

The Rangers stumble back out of the infirmary in shock, unable to get their leader's distraught expression out of their minds. They make it to their common room, between Dana and Kelsey's room, before Joel blurts out the question on all their minds: "What just happened?!"

"The concussion," Dana replies, though her tone is far from decisive, "Concussions have cognitive and emotional side effects, ranging from confusion, disorientation, speech impediments, post-traumatic amnesia, and decreased emotional control."

"So you're saying Carter just went full-tilt into a panic attack because he hit his head?"

"I think Dana's saying that Carter's concussion stopped him from controlling his emotions so that he _wouldn't_ go 'full-tilt into a panic attack,'" Ryan says quietly, flatly.

There must be something in his voice, because the other Rangers all turn to him. Ryan clenches and unclenches his fists, trying to put his thoughts in order. "Carter was apologizing," he says slowly, "Specifically apologizing because he thinks he let Olympius hurt you."

"But he didn't!" Kelsey protests, "That's the opposite of what he did!"

"Then why does he think otherwise?" Ryan snaps, before he can control himself.

Kelsey opens her mouth to snap back, but Chad cuts in, his voice soothing, "Guys. Letting our tempers get the best of us isn't going to solve anything."

"Maybe this is just a one-time thing," Joel offers. "The concussion's messing with his head, that's all."

Unbidden, the memory of Carter explaining away Olympus-as-Chad's erratic behavior as a knock to the head rises in Ryan's mind. Brushing things aside has worked _so_ well for this team.

"What if it's not?" He demands. "What if it's something deeper? Come on, you guys can't have missed how _off_ Carter's been lately!"

"Carter's… _Carter_," Joel responds helplessly, and Ryan hopes he doesn't look as gobsmacked as he feels. Have they really not noticed?!

"No, Ryan's right," Dana muses, biting her lip. Out of all of them, she's the trained medical professional, she knows what signs to look for. "Carter's looked more tired lately. He's been working really hard, harder than he probably needs to."

"But that's who Carter is, right?" Kelsey asks with a frown. "He's always working harder than the rest of us, more training, more tests with Lightspeed, more patrols in the city…"

"If you think about it, it's a miracle he spends as much time with us as he does," Chad adds.

"Carter cares. A lot." Ryan's gaze turns distant as he remembers the sparring match from previous days. "Everything he does, he does for the Team. Because he feels we deserve his best."

Chad, Joel, and Kelsey duck their heads and avert their eyes in embarrassment, overwhelmed by the intensity of Carter's emotion, even second-hand.

Dana, however, pales in horror. "No..."

The others look at her curiously, but Dana focuses on her brother. "Ryan, Carter's behaviour - did you notice it before or after Olympius infiltrated the Aquabase?"

Ryan's brow furrows. "After."

Dana's distress peaks. She shakes her head, a hand pressed against her mouth.

"Dana?!" Kelsey reaches out for her friend, but the Pink Ranger shies away, denying the comfort.

"It was a joke. It was just supposed to be a joke! He can't - he can't think - can he?"

"Dana, you're not making any sense," Ryan says slowly, noticing Chad frown in consternation out of the corner of his eyes. "What joke?"

"After we fought Olympius," she replied miserably, "We said - but he can't think we _meant_ it!"

Ryan doesn't like where this is going. He doesn't like it at all. "What did you say?"

Dana shakes her head, refusing to meet his eyes, and the other Rangers start looking uncomfortable - verging on guilty.

"What did you _say_," Ryan repeats, trying to keep the snarl out of his voice, "Because I remember Carter that night, and he was exhausted and troubled and _guilty._"

Dana, Joel, Chad, and Kelsey look at each other, stricken.

Oh, Ryan _really_ doesn't like where this is going.

"It was a joke," Joel denies, "We were just messing around, nothing serious..."

Ryan bites his lip to keep from saying it was certainly serious enough to shake Carter.

"We yelled at him," Kelsey says in a small voice, "Told him he was dumb for letting Olympius into the Aquabase and mistaking him for us."

Ryan's jaw drops. He can't have heard that right.

Joel still doesn't buy it. "If it was affecting Carter that bad, he'd have said something!"

"Carter's not really a man of words," Chad counters quietly, "He speaks with actions. And his actions since then..." He closes his eyes. "We should have seen it."

"We did this," Dana says, and the words feel like damnation, like a weight locking into place across their backs.

"Olympius is the one who pushed Carter," Ryan cuts in, his voice still rough with fettered anger. Drowning themselves in blame and guilt isn't going to help Carter.

"And it's because of us that Olympius was even able to hurt Carter," Dana snaps back, "He was _protecting us -"_

"That's what Carter does," Joel responds immediately, "That's his job as Red Ranger, and that's how he's always fought." The Green Ranger exhales softly, his face set. "My Grandma used to have this saying - 'You break it, you fix it.' So how are we going to fix this?"

"We should talk to him," Chad offers, "Apologise."

"There has to be some way we can get through to him!" Kelsey looks around at her somber friends, feeling helpless and useless. She's a girl of action, always moving, but she has no idea where to go from here.

"The first thing we need to do is wait for Carter to get better," Dana replies, her voice steady, "The last thing he needs from us right now is more - more emotional burden. It's our turn to support him."

* * *

Carter climbs out of the warm fog of medication, blinking his eyes open. He can hear steady beeping, and his arm is cold where an IV's pumping fluids into him. Why is he in the hospital...

_He felt the flat of Olympius' sword slam into his chest, his heel scraping back and tip over the edge of concrete -_

_-_ Right.

Because he got shoved off a building.

"Great situational awareness, Grayson," he mutters, trying to push himself up.

"Take it easy, Carter," Ms. Fairweather soothes, coming into Carter's field of vision, "You're injured and pretty drugged up."

Carter huffs softly, his lips quirking up into a half-smile. "How's it look, Doc?"

The dark-haired woman looks away from the monitors surrounding Carter and smiles at him. "You're going to be fine, Carter. As long as you _rest_, you'll be up and back to normal in no time."

"We all know Carter's not so great at the whole resting thing, Doc," Joel teases from the doorway.

"Hey, look who's here to see you!"

Carter's expression brightens and he grins. "Hi, guys!"

"How're you feeling, Carter?" Dana asks softly, reaching for his hand.

Carter squeezes her hand reassuringly. "I'm fine, Dana. You heard what Ms. Fairweather said, I'll be up and about in no time."

Ryan looks at him pointedly, replying, "If you get _rest_, Carter."

Carter's smile flickers, and Dana sends her brother an equally pointed look.

"Anyway, check out what we got you!" Kelsey cuts in excitedly, and Chad carries a frosting-laden cake over to Carter's pull out table. Joel follows with a bundle of 'get well soon' balloons.

"Grandma's special recipe," Joel says with a grin. "Dana made the icing, though. You're gonna want to see a dentist when you're done, though - I think she used up the entire base's ration of sugar."

"I did not!" Dana protests.

Carter laughs. "Guys, you didn't have to do this for me!"

A strained silence falls over the group before Chad reaches out and grips Carter's shoulder, saying quietly, "Yeah, we did, Carter. We really did."

"More importantly," Ryan continues lightly, "We _wanted_ to."

Carter looks at his team, taking in their valiant efforts at cheers, and the strain - guilt? - underneath. What _happened_ while he was out, that would put those expressions on their faces?

His brow furrows slightly in confusion. "… Guys? Is something wrong? You just -"

"No, of course not!" Dana and Carter say over him, voices slightly raised, and, okay, his specialty is fighting and rapid response, not subterfuge like Ryan, but he's not _that_ bad at figuring out when someone's lying. Even _with_ a concussion.

The memory of his panic attack when he'd actually woken up before snaps into clarity and Carter feels the blood drain out of his face.

Oh.

"If this is about earlier," he replies, quick to reassure them, "I was totally out of it, don't pay any attention to what I said!"

"Carter -"

"You're not a bad leader!" Kelsey blurts out desperately.

The others fall silent, while Carter stares at her, wide-eyed. "What -"

"You're _not_," she insists, darting forward to hug him, "You're the best - the best ever!"

Carter chokes down a grunt of pain, but Dana notices and says sharply, "Kelsey! His ribs!"

Kelsey smiles and backs away sharply, and Carter smiles weakly. "It's fine, Kelsey. Guys, really, you don't have to -"

"We _do_," Dana, Chad, Kelsey, and Joel chorus.

Ryan smirks and pats Carter's shoulder. "I don't think you're going to win this one, Carter."

Joel clears his throat. "Carter, what we said back then… It wasn't true. None of it. We were just… Well."

"We shouldn't have said any of it," Chad continues, dark eyes regretful, "We _know_ how hard you worked to get us back."

"I thought I'd let you down," Carter admits quietly, weeks of fears and nightmares bubbling up, "That if I had just been faster, smarter, he wouldn't have taken you, couldn't have hurt you -"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Carter," Dana replies fervently, squeezing his hand, "If it wasn't for you, we probably wouldn't even _be_ here right now. You're the strongest of us, you've _always_ protected us - I don't think we can _ever_ thank you enough for that!"

"It's not about thanks," Carter replies with a gentle smile, "You guys are my team - my family. You deserve my best."

"And _you_ deserve _our_ best," Ryan responds firmly.

"We're going to make this right," Kelsey promises, shoving the brightly-iced cake forward, "You're the best, and we're gonna make sure you know it. First step - cake!"

Carter laughs, faintly awed and incredibly touched, revelling in the closeness of his team. For the first time in a long while, there's no band around his heart, no weight on his shoulders.

He hasn't messed this up.

He looks up at their smiling faces with a sunny grin of his own. "Alright, who wants the first piece?"

* * *

A/N: Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Please, leave a review!


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